There are just certain things you shouldn’t do with your girl if you really want things to last. See if you are already not doing these or if you are already breaking these rules to a perfect relationship.
Share an email
Sure, you’ve got nothing to hide. Yeah, you trust her and she trusts you. Doesn’t matter. Girlfriends misinterpret. It’s their job. And when the two of you are sharing an email address, you’re just giving her an opportunity to misinterpret every waking hour of the day.
Move in togeter
Ahh, the classic rookie mistake. Now, we’re not saying you should NEVER move in with your girlfriend. If you’ve gone out for years and one of you spends the significant portion of their time at the other one’s abode and it makes sense for your commute and the move is a step up for your living situation, then by all means… wait two months and then maybe move in. But we know you — you’re gonna be tempted to want to spend every waking moment with your girl after the 2nd glorious, sex-filled month. And that’s a mistake. Rushing in to a cohabitation situation is akin to eating a cake 30 minutes before it’s done — it’s going to suck and it’ll leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Take out a loan
You need a chunk of change to bankroll your budding JetSki Food Delivery service (every guy’s got a dream). Your girlfriend believes in your budding JetSki Food Delivery service idea and she has better credit than you so she’d like to co-sign on the loan you’re going to take out with the bank. WAIT! No. Back up. This is the worst idea ever. Not only does it violate the boundary between work and personal life, it adds undue financial stress on the bond you have with your girlfriend. What if your JetSki Food Delivery service fails (it will)? Now your girlfriend owes the bank $10,000, you’ve got no means to pay her back and she’s growing increasingly resentful of those four JetSkis you have sitting around in your garage, collecting artful dust. Even if she wants to give you all the money in the world, be a proud man and say no. Then ask her if you can talk to her father instead.
Get a dog
For a couple, a dog is, in many cases, a stand-in for a child. She’ll be taking mental notes on how you treat Barney, the beloved French Bulldog, and jotting those notes down on the “Pros” and “Cons” column of the whiteboard in her head that she has dedicated to you. If that doesn’t take the fun out of a shared dog, the thought of what will happen to the dog when you break up will. Poor pooch. If you want to get a dog, get one for yourself, bring him home and tell her, “Hey babe, meet my new rottweiler. His name is Ron Mexico.”
Take a trip over 2 weeks
Shared vacations are awesome. Especially ones that involve beaches, comfy hotel rooms and soundproof walls. But there’s a fun-to-hell threshold you cross once the two of you have been traveling for longer than 2 weeks. Then, the stress of being in a strange place gets compounded by the fact that you have no time to yourself. Pile on top of that being confined in small rooms (even the largest hotel room can’t compare to your man cave) and having to see the same person literally every second of the day for two weeks (that’s 1,209,600 seconds spent together). When it comes to a relaxing shared vacation together… quit while you’re ahead.
This should be a no-brainer — you already hate and resent all the people you work with, so why go and add your girlfriend to that list? You’ll be tempted to do one off projects with her (maybe she’s a graphic designer and you need designs for the hood of your rad new Trans Am), but no matter how small the project, working with your girlfriend in a professional capacity is like sticking your hand in a bee’s nest — that thing that used to give you honey is now sending you into anaphylactic shock.
Renovate a house (or anything)
If you’re renovating a house in general, you’re braver than us. But if you’re renovating a house with your girlfriend, you’re a brave man with a relationship death wish. Girls aren’t good at construction, carpentry, plumbing, painting walls, moving furniture or even unpacking boxes. This is not a slight — girls will happily admit that they are not suited for home renovations other than some sort of order-giving capacity. And you don’t need someone barking, “No, move it three inches!” while you’re in the middle of lugging a refrigerator up three flights of stairs (because, sometimes you want a cold brew in the attic… duh). Rope a buddy into helping you and let he