4 mistakes to avoid when dealing with kids and divorce

Posted in Divorce.

If you’re going through a Florida divorce with kids, it’s important that you handle your divorce in a healthy manner so that your kids can get through this trying time better.

Here are 4 mistakes to avoid when dealing with kids and divorce.

Mistake #1: Treating all of your kids the exact same

All kids are not the same. Let’s say you have two children: a sixteen year old boy and a five your old girl. Do you really think you should break the news of your divorce the same way to each child? Do you think it’s fair to expect each child to be able to cope in the same manner? Of course not.

You have to realize that every kid is different, and each one will have his or her own way of handling your split. It’s important that you remain sensitive to your kids’ temperaments and that you’re there to help each child in whatever way you can.

Mistake #2: Showing your anger to your kids

Almost nobody is happy about getting divorced. It’s understandable that you probably have a lot of anger toward your soon to be ex-spouse right now. That’s fine, but you can’t let your kids see that anger. You can’t burden them with it.

Your little kid doesn’t need to know that you hate your spouse because he or she cheated on you. You have to be very careful when determining how much you’re going to divulge to your children during your divorce. Use your best judgment, but never let them see the anger and hostility you have inside.
Mistake #3: Getting so caught up in your divorce that you ignore your children

There is a lot that goes into getting divorced. Not only do you have to find a way to work through all of the emotional turmoil you’re going through right now, but you also have to deal with the nitty-gritty details of a divorce case-hiring a lawyer, gathering financial documents, working out child support and custody arrangements, etc.

With so much going on, it can sometimes be easy for parents to lose focus on their kids. But you have to remember that divorce is even harder on your children that it is on you. Divorces are very confusing and scary for kids of all ages, so you can’t unintentionally ignore your children. They need you now more than ever, so be there for them and make sure you show them all the love you have for them.

Mistake #4: Not letting your children express their emotions

Kids with parents who are getting divorced are flooded with emotions, and children usually don’t have the experience or skills to express or deal with their emotions in a healthy way. You need to support your kids and allow them to share their emotions with you. Talk to them about what they’re going through.

You also shouldn’t be afraid to seek professional counseling for your kids. Counselors have the specialized training to help kids express and better understand the emotions they’re dealing with during a divorce.

The bottom line is this: Divorces are tough on kids. But if you can avoid these common mistakes, you’ll give your kids a good deal of help with coping during this tough time.

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