Marriage and divorce are too often linked together like “peas and carrots.” At one point in history, the thought of divorce was as scandalous as committing a murder. When a couple married, the notion of getting a divorce if things failed to work out was not an option. Has the sanctity of marriage been lowered so far that when two individuals step up to the altar, they know they have a way out of it? The time honored tradition of living “till death do us part,” seems to have evolved towards the notion of “till death do us part, unless we get a divorce.”
Marriage and divorce often occur because of the type of communication that exists between people. In any relationship, whether it is friendship or a romantic involvement, communication is necessary for it to survive. Communication can be as simple as the difference between saying negative and positive comments to one another. On a daily basis, if you hear things like “you never,” or “you don’t” you’re bound to put up a defense against the personal attacks that usually follow such phrases. All too often we open our mouths without even thinking about what we are saying or how it will affect the person we are addressing. Simple changes in the way we communicate could make a lasting difference in a relationship, especially a marriage. Instead of starting off with the negatives, begin with a positive phrase like “thank you,” or “I’ll help,” to let the person know how much you appreciate them instead of pointing out the things they do wrong all the time.
What is the union of two people, and how does such an institution end? The way that you view marriage and divorce can be derived from your family history. Parent’s divorce with petty quarrels and lack of affection, may influence the fear of their children to fail in their own marriage According to a recent survey, children from a broken home are twice as likely to have their own marriages fail. People whose parents have divorced are more likely to view divorce as a viable solution to a failed marriage. Children of divorced parents often enter a marriage retaining the standards they saw growing up. Before getting married, you should discuss your respective family origins. It is important that you both know about each other’s childhood and your relationship with your parents. With greater understanding of each other’s backgrounds, it becomes easier to attain your marriage goals.
Financial stress often enters a marriage and can play a role in a divorce. Before getting married, sit down and discuss what you are expecting from the marriage financially. For example, discuss whether joint or separate checking accounts are desired. Examine each others saving plan and then work out a new joint plan. It’s important to understand each other’s spending habits before tying the knot. This will give you an idea of where your money will be spent once you are living together. Most of us avoid talking about uncomfortable personal subjects such as money. But we often let money rule our lives. The role that money will play in a marriage is as important as determining the parental roles for raising children.
History’s idea of marriage and divorce is drastically different than what exists in today’s society. Over the centuries, the idea of getting a divorce if one’s marriage wasn’t working out has become somewhat automatic. Perhaps this can change with the next few generations if more emphasis is placed on the importance of communicating before and after marriage. Getting everything out in the open before taking on the commitment of marriage can help a couple cope with the natural difficulties that arise in a relationship which is intended to last a lifetime. It can reiterate the dreams and desires that made two people want to spend their lives together in the first place, making divorce seem like a not-so-appealing option.