It is not unusual when you have been in a relationship for a while although you still have deep feelings for your partner to find you are not attracted to them anymore. Some people are perfectly happy with this and see it as a natural development. They are happy loving their partner as a life long companion and soul mate, problems may only arise when both partners do not feel the same and one sees a lack of intimacy as a sign that the relationship has gone stale. Even if you are happy with the way things are in your relationship, there is nothing wrong with trying to spice things up a bit and bring some more excitement back into your relationship. Something as simple as getting dressed up and recreating one of those early dates could be enough to get the pair of you also recreating that early fun.
Remember what attracted you to each other to start with.
Think back to the time when you were attracted to your partner, what was it that turned you on? Was it their smile, their looks or their sense of humour? You couldn’t wait to see them and be intimate with them. Has your partner stopped trying to look attractive, if so try to gently coax them into trying harder. Be positive, criticism will only make things worse. If your male partner used to wear well cut suits and now doesn’t want to get out of his sweat pants, suggest that you would love to see him in a suit again as he looks so handsome in one.
Be subtle about what turns you off, but it should be discussed
Always highlight what you do like about them and put any criticisms forward in a positive way. This I agree is not easy, but if you think that he could do with showering more you do need to discuss it, in a frank and positive manner.
Accepting negative feedback gracefully
Be prepared for the fact that just as your partner is not turning you on anymore, you may not be coming across as attractive to them either. So, while you are giving suggestions to your partner, encourage them to do the same as well. What you need to do is work together to bring the fun back into your relationship.
Excitement in the bedroom
One thing that will do wonders for the relationship is if you can spice things up in the bedroom. Create the right mood for an intimate evening and dedicate all that time to your partner. Make sure you both dress well and look good and you may just find yourself wondering why you ever thought there was a problem.
Improving health and fitness
One major reason why levels of physical intimacy wanes for a lot of couples is neglect to their health and fitness. You may both have put on weight and your energy levels are down and the kids and work are stressing you out. You need to try to fit some exercise into your routine. If you can do it together, so much the better. You both will start looking and feeling better, your hormonal balance and overall mood will improve and your energy levels will go up, all of which are known to impact favourably on your sex drive .
If you want to there is no reason why you cannot share a lifelong intimate relationship while still enjoying the comfort of having your partner as your best friend.