Children and divorce – 5 principles that firmly put the children first

Posted in Divorce.

5 Principles That Firmly Put The Children First 

P 1. Forgive - Nurturing the grudge or hatred towards your former spouse is totally self-indulgent and it will crush your children. True love of your children requires you put them first and accept and love that part of them that is their other biological parent. Own up and accept responsibility for the divorce and adopt a genuine attitude of forgiveness towards your former spouse. Indeed, we are commanded by God to forgive. This will be interpreted as your total acceptance of your children and not just that part of them that is you. They will detect that your love for them is complete and will flourish.

 P 2. Turn the Other Cheek - Divorce cases regrettably feature allegations of domestic violence and child abuse against one parent against the other. This is an attempt to gain sole custody and visitation rights and happens without the child’s knowledge for the most part. It is none the less very damaging. Focus on the child and ask yourself how you should behave in the light of these allegations with their best interests in mind. Turn the other cheek and you will avoid making a bad situation worse and the benefits will be apparent in your child.  

P 3. Don’t Date - Dating is another way of rejecting the other parent and that part of your child that clings to their other parent. Dating also puts your needs first and those of your child second and last. It undermines their security. Going it alone may be tough and lonely for you but it will give you peace of mind, and provide your children with the physical safety, trust and security they vitally need. It’s a sacrifice you make to put them first and it will pay off. 

P 4. Be Sober - Alcohol alters our mind and mood. It is selfish, makes us volatile and especially unsuitable for interacting with children. Be sober and your kids will be safe. Your behaviour towards them will be consistent. Your temper will seldom become inflamed and sorrow, contention and remorse will have no part in either your life or theirs. You may crave a cold beer but by foregoing it you are keeping your mind clear and putting your children first. They will observe your clear, sound judgment and know that you can be trusted to be consistent and dependable. 

P 5. Restore your Finances - Marriage breakdown has disastrous financial consequences to the detriment of the child. Very often, one tries to rack up so much expense in an attempt to crush the other. They satisfy their appetite for revenge and ignore the child’s need to have equal parenting opportunities with the parent they are trying to destroy. What a result for your children if you climb out from under these burdens and recover some of the opportunity you forewent at the time of your divorce.

 Andrew G. Boyd is the father of two elementary school children – a boy (8) and a girl(7) – and cares for his elderly mother. An affiliate of the internet Marketing and Mentoring Coaching Centre (iMMACC), Andy advocates that single parents skill up in Internet Marketing techniques with the objective of quitting their day job in order to spend more time with their children. To check out Andy’s online opportunity please go to

If time with your kids, personal freedom and the restoration of your financial fortunes are important to you, please click on and check out home based internet marketing.


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