Part one of “Christian Divorce” that I wrote got a tremendous number of reads so I thought perhaps I should expound a little further. As I said before I want to encourage all believers out there that are going through the pain and darkness of divorce. Having gone through divorce myself there are a few things I can share here from my experience that I hope are helpful.
1) You May Need To Change Your Circle Of Friends Or Even Churches
One of the big things you are going to find out is the church is mostly confused on how to handle the divorce hot potato. When I say the church I am talking about the circle of believers that are supposed to be there for you when hardship comes in your life. You are about to find out most of your friends won’t be there for you.
If you can find anyone that you can lean on in this time you are truly blessed. Sadly we like to shoot the wounded and avoid anything that may be awkward. If you are the innocent party in your divorce, and even if everybody in your church knows that, don’t expect anyone to treat you with grace and not judge you unjustly. Chances are they will remove you from ministry of any kind until this thing ” blows over” which may be years before it is resolved.
It will be hard finding a church that understands that your righteousness is only because of what Jesus did and not some holiness badge you earned that the church gives out. Somehow you have to qualify by your good works to be in ministry or hold any position in the church where people see you. Now if you do have a good church that is totally mature I stand corrected and by all means stay there and reach out. It is just that It has been my experience that they are hard to find.
Meanwhile they have painted you with the divorce brush even though you may be the innocent party. In any case if this is your scenario it is probably best to consider changing churches or even take a break for awhile. That way nobody can put any flaky judgments on you. There is a big difference between church doctrine and how Jesus handles this situation.
2) Learn to Pray and Hear God Daily
The best thing you can do right now is set aside time daily to cast all your care on Jesus. The more you pray the more you can speed the healing process. I guarantee you God is totally close to you with comfort and counsel to give you hope without any condemnation. Listen closely in your spirit and he will talk to you in your prayer time.
All those court issues need not have power over you to keep you awake at night if you are standing on the side of righteousness. God upholds his word and he will fight for you in court. It will turn your way if your spouse has lied and been less than Christian about certain things.
This is a good time to listen for God’s voice as he will guide you and speak to the things you are feeling deeply wounded about. The many hours I spent in prayer brought me revelation of the things I felt cheated by and gave me new perspective. Work out forgiveness towards your spouse. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, you and Jesus do. As a friend told me at the time ” life does get better” so hang in there.
Most importantly of all find and confess scriptures that bring you hope. You need to confess God’s word to your circumstance and not your feelings. Do this out loud in your prayer time. ” The young lions do hunger and suffer lack but they that seek the Lord lack no good thing ” was one of my favorites but there are lots more that are just as good.
Make Jesus your closest friend because he does have the answers. Remember God is walking through this divorce with you and he is wanting to unfold plan B seeing how plan A didn’t pan out. Your comments are welcome. God bless you.