Devastated and confused? – what to do when your marriage is falling apart

Posted in Marriage.

Are you hanging on by a thread, at the moment, trying to figure out where it all went wrong? How are you supposed to know what to do when your marriage is falling apart and your entire world seems to be caving in around you. You are probably feeling overwhelmed and confused right now, but I want to encourage you that not all is lost. In fact, this is an extremely positive moment because you have obviously come to the conclusion that your marriage is in trouble and something needs to be done about it promptly.

You could not be more right. If you are considering what to do when your marriage is falling apart, it is apparent that time is critical. Your marital concerns and issues have been left without being dealt with, for far too long, and I advise you that if you leave them any longer, you will likely, sooner than you realize, be asking the question, “what to do when your marriage is over“?

But your marriage is not over and there is much to be done, and no time to waste, if you really want to save your marriage.

5 Critical Tips For What To Do When Your Marriage is Falling Apart:

1. Don’t Panic! While you must realize the seriousness of the situation, you also need to keep your head about you and formulate a well thought-out action plan for rescuing your marriage. This is a time when you cannot afford to let your emotions get out of control. Stay away from letting your imagination run wild with all the negative outcome scenarios. Now is the time to focus, be positive and decide how you are going to save your marriage. This is going to require a lot of mental toughness. You must find a way to remain positive in the midst of all the stress and anxiety – make up your mind that failure is not an option. Promise yourself that you will do everything within your power and ability to save your marriage.

2. Do an Honest Self- Assessment. This is where you critique yourself and every element of your life and marriage and pin-point the problems, habits, issues and concerns that have attributed to bringing your marriage to the edge of collapse. This is a time of intense and brutally honest introspection and reflection. You will do yourself no favors by smoothing things over here or by justifying your words and actions that have damaged your relationship. There can be no healing without first admitting your mistakes and wrong-doing. Take note… this self-assessment time is precisely that - SELF-assessment. It has nothing to do with your spouse. It is about discovering what YOU have done wrong, coming to terms with it, then taking the initiative and changing those destructive habits and behaviors. This will include implementing new, healthy patterns in your thinking, speaking and acting. Do not overlook this step when deciding what to do when your marriage is falling apart.

3. Seek and Offer Forgiveness. There can be no healing and moving on in a marriage if forgiveness is not part of the equation. Forgiveness is perhaps the most integral element to the puzzling question of, “what to do when your marriage is falling apart?” What you must know about forgiveness is that it cannot be earned, deserved or demanded. It is to be offered freely and without condition. No matter what happens with your marriage, it is always a win-win situation when you choose to forgive. It frees you from the hurt and pain, the bitterness and anger, the resentment and animosity – all the un-checked negative emotions towards your spouse that have built up over the years. Once you offer complete and unconditional forgiveness, I promise you, you will feel like a massive weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

4. Get Help. Time is of the essence. You have already let things slide for too long and that is why your relationship is where it is. As you deal with the dilemma of what to do when your marriage is falling apart, you may need help in drawing up a productive and effective action-plan. If you feel too overwhelmed and don’t have a good support system to depend on, you may want to seek the help of a counselor or perhaps start with a marriage saving program. There are some excellent on-line marriage counseling courses that are reasonably priced and offer great value in terms of professional quality and advice. Whatever you decide, don’t let your pride stand in the way – your marriage hangs in the balance.

5. Love – Just Love! Sounds too simple doesn’t it? But the kind of love I’m talking abo

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