Discover how to stop fighting and get your lover back

Posted in Friendship.

Are your frequently fighting and arguing with your spouse or lover over insignificant little things?  Is it destroying your relationship?  Would you like it to stop?  Then discover how to stop fighting and get your lover back with the following 3 steps:

1.  What benefit are you getting out of fighting?  The two great motivators of life are the avoidance of pain and the gaining of pleasure.  What pleasure are you deriving from your constant arguing and fighting?  Do you fight just for the “makeup sex” or the loving and kindness you show to each other after a fight?  If this is the case, then stop rewarding this negative behavior.  Get your lover back by enjoying the love and tenderness of your partner as a reward for not fighting, or for settling disagreements or arguments amicably.

2.  Daily right down everything that is on your mind regarding your partner.  Pour your emotions out on paper.  Write down problems and their possible solutions on paper.  Not only will this unclutter your mind, but it will also free your mind from tension and stress.  As a side benefit, you’ll also discover many excellent solutions for some of the issues troubling your relationship.  Once we commit something to paper and forget about it, our mind often finds ingenious solutions to what we have written down.

3.  If possible and you both agree, sit down with your lover and discuss why you’re frequently fighting.  Your fighting might not be about little issues like leaving dishes in the sink or not picking up your clothes.  Your fighting might harbor deeper underlying problems.  As an exercise to get this started, you each might want to take a few minutes and write down why you think you’re always fighting.  Freely share your thoughts, don’t criticize or judge, and be respectful of each other’s viewpoints.

Constant fighting and arguments can destroy our self-image and our relationship.  To get your lover back it’s imperative that the two of you discover why you fight and learn how to constructively settle your arguments.  For more information on relationships, please visit


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