Do’s and Don’ts When Working with a Person that you’re Attracted to
Ok… there he or she is, finally; before your very eyes, is a person that out of no where has your heart skipping a beat and your belly tickling within. There is that nervous energy expressing itself all over your body. This person has suddenly appeared in your paradigm, (meaning: causing you to show desire, want and need, in all of its inflectional forms)… and you don’t know where he or she came from…but, they are before you and you don’t know quite how to go about hiding or showing your feelings.
Each of us has a physiological response to people that we are attracted to. It is the brain releasing a chemical called Dopamine. Dopamine is a decarboxylated form of amino acid, found in the adrenal glands. Once two people feel the heightened attraction, the feeling could continue…until the two bodies interact. There is another chemical that is released called Oxytocin, which is attributed to the stimulation of physical interaction.
1. The first thing you’d want to do is keep the relationship professional at all times. Most people are extremely observant, especially in a business environment and where you may think that no one is watching you, believe me, they… very well are. There is someone watching at all times….even in places when you are not in an office. An example is the many people that are caught on hidden cameras.
2. Never tell anyone in the office or in the company, that you are attracted to this person. People don’t mean to…but often times…interoffice attractions can be a good topic of conversation and make for some juicy gossip. What if the other person doesn’t feel as you do and words get back that you are interested? It could make for an uncomfortable work environment.
3. Avoid touching or standing too close to the individual. Many times… when we are attracted to a person…we will subconsciously stand too close or desire to touch the individual…whenever possible. We may not notice that we are doing this…but believe me…others around, could definitely take note.
4. Avoid direct eye contact with the particular individual as often as possible. Allot can be and have been said by and through the eyes. The way you look or stare at a person could speak volumes and there are often trained eyes around to spot that peculiar gleam of desire, sparkling in your eye.
5. Avoid too many kind gestures or favors. People often can spot favoritism and will take notice of it almost immediately. Every one desires to be treated the same so remember…if and when going out to lunch… ask more than just that particular person, if he/she wants you to bring them anything back.
6. Whenever thoughts arise about the individual, list all the reasons why you should or should not get involved. If the no out weighs the yes….then… don’t do it!
Listen to that little voice inside …you know…the one that says yes or no. Your first foray is usually the most important and often times…right on mark!
7. Never make the first move…that is…until the other person has given you an indication that they may be opened to your invitation. No one wants to look or feel foolish. Many times people are merely being friendly and we can take a friendly gesture as meaning much more than what it was intended to be…leaving us feeling ashamed, embarrassed and insecure. Often people will give an indication…such as a warm smile…dancing eyes….or flirtatious body language, when they are interested.
8. If he/she makes a move first…go back to numbers 6 and 7.
9. Watch your body language and the other individual’s body language, as well. There is… and often times… much to be said of the way people move and prance about when they are interested in someone who is close by. Men tend to walk more confidently, displaying a rather suave and debonair approach. Women tend to add a little more flare and flavor to their walk and are often a bit more sexual, provocative and friendlier than usual.
10. Lastly, keep in mind the old saying: Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.