First date safety: 9 online/offline dating don'ts

Posted in Dating.

Introduction

Although dating is meant to be fun, women must protect themselves in the event they cross paths with a dangerous man. It’s always a good idea to be prepared in case things go wrong. Following are a few dating don’ts to help keep you on your toes.

Don’t forget you’re on a first date.  First dates can be wonderful, especially when the guy in front of you is gorgeous and polite, but don’t throw caution to the wind. Whether you met over the internet, through friends or going about your day, first impression can be false. If you find that you’re quickly attracted to him, remind yourself that he’s new and keep emotions in check.

Don’t ask the right questions at the wrong time.  Questions about work and salary, while fine, might be better asked further down the road. In fact, questions to determine his character are better. Wait and see if he’s kind, compassionate and considerate. Career and income can be discussed later if you continue seeing one another.

Don’t drop your guard too fast. While it’s not ‘politically correct’ to talk of abusive relationships in the same breathe as a first date, tragically, some women get involved too quickly simply because the man made them feel good. Later they discover that he’s dangerous, sometimes too late. Just because he makes you laugh doesn’t mean it’s safe to drop your guard. After all, he might be a master of ‘faking good’. Slow down and take as much time as needed to find out if he’s a “good guys”.

Don’t ignore your intuition.   If you’re enjoying dinner with a seemingly nice man, but half-way through the meal your gut starts firing off warning signals, pay attention. Although a first date might cause a few jitters, warning signs mean that something doesn’t add up. Do listen to this radar, especially if it starts, won’t shut off, and gets stronger. If that happens, leave. You can figure out later if your hunch was correct. Heed the old adage “it’s better to be safe than sorry”.

Don’t drink alcohol on the first date. Unless your first date is with a man you’ve known a few years, avoid alcohol, because it interferes with judgment and response time. If you need to act to a situation fast, consuming alcohol will cloud judgment preventing you from hearing internal signals that warn you of danger. Stay sharp so that you can respond quickly and appropriately.

Don’t leave drinks unattended: You don’t know yet whom you’re dating. Be wary of y or leaving any drinks unattended when leaving for the ladies room. Order a fresh one upon your return.Beware of date rape drugs.

Don’t reveal private information. Stay away from your favorite spots and don’t reveal where you work. It is understood that first dates are conducted in a public place, preferably for lunch, but don’t pick your favorite spots. Why? If things don’t work out, you don’t want him showing up at one of your favorite fun spots. The same goes for you place of employment, too. There is no need for a new guy to know where you work. If he’s a stalker, heaven forbid, you don’t want him knowing where you work or your whereabouts period.

Avoid visiting his apartment.  Under no circumstances, go to his home/apartment before you get to know him, which is very risky behavior. You don’t know him that well. If he suggests going back to his place for any reason, especially when other plans were clearly stated, postpone the date.  He might be up to something.

Don’t lead him on. If you don’t want to see him again, simply say so. Don’t laugh, smile, giggle or preface your decision. Saying that you’re not interested is enough. Be polite, not coy; be firm, not cruel. Hopefully, your date will go smoothly and you won’t need any of these tips, but just in case.

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