Forgive hurtful words: to pardon a slight is healing for your marriage

Posted in Marriage.

Introduction

Although a desire for revenge is natural when your spouse hurts you, it’s harmful and will eventually hurt you.  Once started, it’s difficult to get off the treadmill of revenge. It’s better to avoid it altogether.

 The world is imperfect. This world isn’t perfect and neither are those who live in it. Everyday stress gets out of control as the pace of life accelerates. In this fast-paced environment, stress is common and can cause unwanted behavior. This isn’t an excuse for bad manners, but perhaps it can help you understand that it might cause uncharacteristic actions.  When someone is verbally harsh, don’t retaliate or strike out with harsh words against the abuse. That will only make matters worse. Confront the individual to talk about what’s bothering you. Expressing feelings is a surer way to forgiveness than allowing wounds to fester.

If you want to forgive someone who’s said unkind words to you, understanding goes a long ways. It ‘s easier to forgive your marriage partner when you understand what they’re feeling or what they’re thinking. Understanding comes with self-examination or remembering a time that you said something hurtful. We have all done it whether we admit it or not. Own past behavior, try understanding, and don’t judge, At least the very least, give your wife the benefit of the doubt and before long you’ll be able to forgive and forget the incident ever happened.

Remain Objective when your feelings are hurt. Don’t get defensive or allow reactions to take over. When your husband is mean or upset, take a step backwards instead of getting defensive. Try to understand his position with a of, show compassion.  This kindness may not help the other person, but it will help you.  The more you forgive, the freer you are.

Don’t play the blame game. Don’t blame or try to make her feel guilty. Trying to make your partner feel sorry for verbally attacking you is counterproductive, since she will defend herself or even deny that the negative incident occurred. She will then attempt to make you feel guilty. This type of scene makes it almost impossible to forgive anyone, because communication breaks down under the weight of guilt and/or blame. So, if you want to forgive, don’t blame.

Remember there is no blame, because husbands and wives do occasionally say hurtful things to one another without meaning to, but forgiveness is possible. It’s also not as difficult as it may seem, once your get over the initial pain.  However, if you open your heart and mind  to understand him/her, you’ll be successful.

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