How to fix a broken relationship even if it's terribly fractured!

Posted in Marriage.

How to fix a broken relationship is a heart wrenching question that plagues many well-meaning couples. But often, a relationship that you may perceive to be terribly fractured is able to be salvaged by simply putting in some trouble shooting effort to mending a broken heart that is lonely and hurting. Many times, in a relationship, what happens is that a bunch of minor things may go wrong and if they are not dealt with they pile up, fester over time, and then become one huge sore that seems incurable. Word of caution… never underestimate the damaging effects that little, seemingly insignificant acts, or words, can have on a relationship.

Be encouraged, though, with the reality that most relationship trouble need not be seen as a write off, but simply as a fender bender. Any relationship is susceptible to the daily pressures of life: family obligations, job and career demands, etc. These often lead, however innocently, to the neglect of the one person who is most important in your life… your partner. Truth is, without him or her, all the hard work, planning, and dreams for the future would be worth nothing. Take heart! A fractured relationship will usually mend with a little focused, and well-meaning attention.

This may seem basic and elementary, but trust me, it’s usually the simple things that, left undone, come back to bite us! You must spend quality time with your spouse. Not just time, quality time… there is a huge difference. It’s easy to think you do spend time with them, but do a little honest mental exercise here. Consider how much time you spend with friends, your children, doing work and household chores and then how much time you spend with your partner. It may surprise you how little time you actually do spend with them. This reality often leaves one or both of you feeling seriously neglected and unloved.

You are only one person with only 24 hours in your day. If too much of your time is given to friends, work, or extra curricular activities, you are going to have to learn how to say no, plain and simple. Another solution is to include your spouse. Be together in those activities and work together on projects whenever possible. Having common interests and goals is a great way to help a relationship bond.

Another tip when dealing with the question of how to fix a broken relationship is to make a habit of connecting with your partner daily, by doing something personal and meaningful. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or complicated. The joys of life really are made up of simple pleasures… a hand-holding stroll in the park, and no you don’t have to be 85 years old in order to enjoy a “stroll!” Listen to music together over a sip of wine or steaming cappuccino. Take in a concert or go to a movie, but do a little extra, like dressing up and making it a date. Work out together, go for bike rides, go swimming… many things you do will not only benefit you emotionally but also health wise. Like I said, keep it simple, you will be pleasantly surprised just how good it will make you feel and the positive impact it will have on your relationship.

Fixing A Broken Relationship Requires Communication:

Inevitably, when considering how to fix a broken relationship, the topic of communication will come up. Talking and communicating with one another is a must. Be open and transparent (but not in an obnoxious or mean way), sharing your feelings regularly. Don’t be vague and leave your partner to do the guess-work, be creative and descriptive when telling them how you’re feeling. Be honest about sharing the good and the bad, but be sure to do it in a non confrontational way and in a tone of voice that is calm and non threatening.

One major tip here when communicating with your spouse… be sure to give them your undivided attention. There is nothing worse than someone glancing at the TV or trying to read a magazine while you are talking. It right away sends the message that what you have to say is not important. Be sure that your response is not critical. Hold hands and make eye contact. This re-assures your partner that you care and are genuinely interested. Body language is your friend, use it. Smile and be supportive even if you may not completely agree with everything they are saying. Being emotionally involved and proactive is a huge piece in the puzzling question of how to fix a broken relationship.

Bring the romance back! Ne

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