Joining the Mile High Club has got to be up there with most people’s wildest fantasies. Even if you’re too shy, timid or scared to even contemplate it, sex on an airplane definitely has an appeal to it.
If you’re really up for it and are serious about conquering airplane sex, there are a few things that you will need to really consider and think hard about beforehand if you are going to have any sort of success. Firstly, you will need a plan. A really good plan that, complete with a detailed step by step guide also has a quick abort signal or code. Air crew are well known for their vigilance against airplane sex and in addition to that, if you are caught by them, they are also very well known for taking tactical revenge against naughty passengers (ie I wouldn’t’ drink or eat anything they serve you in the event you are busted)
Firstly, if you’re really going to give sex on a plane a whirl consider the logistics. Airplane toilets are not the most spacious of places for one, let alone two, especially if you’re trying to get down and dirty. Realistically, if you don’t think you’ll fit, then don’t try it on board. Save your fantasy for something else like sex on the beach or in the great outdoors. If you think you might just make it work, then have a dry run in your own bathroom toilet at home. It might sound outlandish, but if you really want to tick joining the Mile High Club off your list, then you might just have to do put in the necessary training to achieve your goal.
Secondly, when considering what flight to take, choose a long haul flight. A quickie really isn’t going to go down well on a short haul flight crammed with families and screaming children. Wait until you are on a long flight, preferably one that is travelling over night. When the coast is clear and most people appear to be sleeping is when you will know to put your plan in to action.
If the coast is clear, choose your toilet. Avoid the toilets right down the back of the plane, as this is where most of the aircrew will be chatting or sitting while they are still on duty when everyone is asleep. Try for the toilets in the middle of the plane, or a toilet that does not have many passengers seated near it.
Enter quickly and swiftly behind each other. Your movements should be silent and fluid and not draw any attention to you. Once you are inside, there won’t be any time for mucking about. So get right in there, hopefully you have thought to wear appropriate clothing for a quick and hopefully soundless sex session.
Once you have done the deed, just as quickly and quietly return to your seats. If your efforts were any good, hopefully your sex airplane session would have been just what you needed to put you right to sleep!