How to maintain a good marriage relationship?

Posted in Marriage.

Everyone surely has had frustrating hair-pulling days before, whether you are married or not!

Have you ever wished for an extra pair of hands to do all the things you need to do? Be it clearing the laundry basket of its dirty clothes, cleaning the messy rooms, mopping the dirt-stained floor, putting away the toys, sending your children to school, or preparing meals for your family, an extra pair of hands would be nice!

On top of the above chores, if you are holding a job, I would sincerely empathize with you. The physical and mental pressure that you have to bear is definitely not small!

I can imagine that there are days whereby things just do not seem to go smoothly. The alarm clock did not ring when it is supposed to! You are late for a meeting with an important client! Your boss being not in a good mood, made things difficult for you throughout the day! The school called saying your child is having behavioural problems! You have to work over-time, and would not be in time to prepare dinner for your family. When you reached home, tons of household chores are waiting for you! To top it off, you have a difference in opinion with your husband over some mundane issues, with both of you ending up going to bed still angry and not speaking to each other! Wow! What a mess!

In a marriage, efforts have to be made to maintain and strengthen the relationship between husband and wife, or parent and child, just like a seedling needs to be watered for it to blossom. Yes, lots of things are easier said than done! However, if you are not even willing to give it a chance by putting in some effort, things will definitely stay the same!

Below are a few tips for maintaining a marriage relationship that I have gathered over fifteen years of personal experience. I do hope they work for you as well!

1.Sharing

To maintain a good marriage relationship requires a lot of SHARING. A load shared is a load halved. Vice-versa, happiness shared is happiness doubled! For example, if you can get your other half to do household chores together, both of you would be surprised that it could become time well-spent together, gaining a better knowledge of the habits, as well as the likes and dislikes of your spouse.

If your spouse received a piece of good news and shared it with you, it would be most appropriate for you to express your happiness for him/her with a simple hug or a kiss! With a little effort to celebrate in the form of a meal or a small gift, your relationship would be greatly improved.

2.Quality Communication

Quality communication comes about with patience, a listening ear and a sympathetic heart. I do understand that sometimes it is not easy to be patient with one another, especially after a hard day at work! Especially if there are also small kids around the house! However, remember the time when both of you were just getting to know each other? The efforts made then to try to present a good image in front of each other, and the willingness to listen so as to know each other better should also be practiced within a marriage. Try seeing things from his/her perspective, and you would realize that it is not hard to understand the behaviour of your spouse.

Of course, there would be days whereby you know that your patience has reached its limits. Then the best thing to do would be to take a breather from each other. Give each other some private space, then try approaching your loved one when you have cooled down. There is no point in continuing any discussion if both of you are heated up. Throwing ugly words at each other will only deepen your misunderstandings, and not solve any problems. Angry words hurt and leave its mark. Moreover, it will be impossible to take back what is said even if you want to later! So, do not do what you will regret later.

3.Respect

Everyone likes to be respected. Respect your spouse and you will be treated the same by your spouse. If you are married, there must be a couple of things about him/her that have made you agreed to the marriage in the first place. Do not be negative about things he/she likes just because it is not to your preference. Constant arguing will only worsen a marriage relationship. Try to find a mutual ground for compromise. Sometimes it helps to take a step back and look at things from a different angle.

Bear in mind to grasp every available opportunity to show that you care! Be it a cup of coffee in the morning, a call of concern during the workday, or a hug after work would work miracles for a marriage. Marriage is not the end, but the beginning of a long path of finding out more about your spouse, and learning to compromise and live with your differenc

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