How to show him you love him without sex

Posted in Friendship.

It has been discovered that in this present dispensation each of us are in the process of becoming. The issue here is not that we are merely moving toward what we shall be, but that we are already moved from what we were to what we are today. It is however disturbing that our character is not in any way solid but watery. It is never in human nature to move on a horizontal plane; we are either ascending or descending, mounting up or sinking down. The Holy Bible tells us that when a moral being travels from one position to the other, it must always be toward the worse or toward the better (Revelation 22:11).

Today, it is evident that we are not only in the process of becoming, but that we are actually becoming what we love. We are to a large degree the sum of all that we love and we will, of moral necessity, grow into the image of what we love most; for love is, among other things, a creative affinity. Love changes, molds, shapes, and transforms. Without doubt, love is the most powerful agent affecting human nature next to the direct action of the Holy Spirit of God within the soul.

What we love is not a small matter that could be shrugged off lightly. This is why it is fatal for us to love wrong objects. To tread this path is to appear twisted and deformed in life. Loving sex more than the person, is a deformity. The Bible calls it lust, and it leads to death (2 Corinthians 10:5). God told us to love one another because He is love, but there is today a negative side view of this command that is being peddled and practiced by people today. It is the idea that there is not a man anywhere in the world that can accept a genuine woman’s love without first being gratified sexually. This is not true. God did not tell us anywhere in His Word to accept this, and as a result, this idea is not acceptable by us, God’s children.

Apart from the global desire to see this ugly trend reversed, our faith in the almighty God tells us that there are friends who need not to be bribed with sex before a deep relationship is established. The love we should have for one another is not the love of feeling, but the love of willing. Love is within our power of choice, otherwise we would not be commanded by God to love one another or be held accountable for not loving them. However, the taking over of the romantic love ideal into our personal relationships as God’s children is extremely injurious to our Christian lives. We do not come to love by a sudden emotional visitation. Since our love for God results from repentance, amendment of life and a fixed determination to love Him, we express the joy of our being free from the bondage of sin by showing others how we care for their spiritual well-being. We do not actually fall in love, because that romantic phrase is what helps the tempest of delightful emotions to sweep us away, thus making us friendless before the world.

I have a friend who told me that he was shocked to be greeted with the words, “You have no friends”, when he signed up for a popular Internet social network. The idea that anyone, even an impersonal web site would call us friendless until something is done, is upsetting. As Christians, it is understood that friends are essential for our emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Friends listen to our heartaches without blaming us for having problems. They defend us when we are under attack; are happy when we succeed and sad when we fail. Friends give us wise counsel to keep us from making foolish choices, even to the point of making us angry for the sake of making us right.

Showing love through sex is no love at all. We need to show others; especially people of the opposite sex how we love God supremely by confirming our love by careful and happy obedience to His Word, even though enjoyable emotions are sure to follow. Good and healthy relationships are uplifting and should be encouraged. The best-known friendship in the Bible, apart from that which Jesus established with God’s children, is that of Jonathan and David. Jonathan was heir to the throne of his father Saul. But he knew that the Lord had chosen David for that role, so he risked his own life to save his friend (1 Samuel 20).

True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. We should not take advantage of our present situations to exploit, but to help further and strengthen theses relationships in healthy and encouraging ways. When we do this, our friends will actually appreciate us and love us more than ever without asking for sex or gratification. Sex before marriage or with someone who is not your spouse, does not strengthen a relationship, but helps to mar it!

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