How to stall my husband's divorce plans?

Posted in Marriage.

The reasons why your husband is contemplating a divorce are not as important as finding ways to stall his plans. If you want him back and restore the broken marriage, you can still do it, provided you act fast and take some strategic steps:

1. Understand and appreciate why your husband is planning to leave you. Is it because of you and your inadequacies or is he planning to move in with another woman? No matter what his reasons are, you have to know for sure. Do not try to do any guess work here as this can only land you in some baseless and hurtful assumptions.

2. Try to get him into opening up to you, unless he has already told you repeatedly why he thinks that this marriage is not working out.

3. If you know that it is specifically your behaviors that are causing the disharmony, the first thing you should do is to apologize and make a sincere promise to ‘change’. Of course, you cannot convince him to believe your intentions straightaway, but at least you can make yourself heard.

4. To stall your husband’s divorce plans, never start any dialogue which is strewn with blames, tears and counter-blames. You are trying to reconstruct a broken marriage and there is no place for mud-slinging at this stage. You can only re-assure him of a great future where you would try your best to be the way he wants you to be.

5. A revengeful attitude should be avoided at all costs.

6. If you find that your husband is absolutely determined to leave you, the best option is to let him go. You cannot make him stay back by showing ‘excuses’ like kids, finance, failing health and so on. These things do nothing to soften a hardened mind.

7. When you allow him to leave you, you are essentially allowing him to realize your worth, if any. Let him face the big and bad world and find out what it means to have a secure home with a loving wife for company. If he has acted on impulse, he would soon realize his mistake and come back.

8. If you want to stall his plans for divorce, never involve any outsider for help or advice. Neither would any external interference help your husband to change his mind nor improve the relationship. It would only start a gossip chain amidst friends, colleagues and relatives.

9. Restoring a broken marriage takes a lot of time and patience. Even if you are successful in stalling your husband’s divorce plans, you have to be prepared to start from scratch. And the long process of reconciliation may take a toll on both your minds and ego states.

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