"living happily ever after" in a relationship is

Posted in Friendship.

When a person meets us, we call them strangers

A stranger transits to recognised zone when you see them regularly

A recognized one becomes familiar when it grows as an acquaintance

An acquaintance sprouts to a defined relationship when you start nurturing it 

A relationship represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

I firmly believe that no relationship takes its birth instantaneously.  A person sitting at my dining table and having lunch with me is there because I invited them. I have invited them because I think they are close to me. When I think they are close to me, I believe that I have given enough time to understand them as a person and trust for the qualities they carry.

After that it is a just a case of feeding the relationship with enough attention, appreciation, respect and freedom. If this doesn’t happen, it is often not because we do not want to, but usually we do not know how to.

There are hundred’s of do’s and don’ts that hangs around how good relationships work.? But I am yet to comprehend the ‘goodness” part in it. All I believe is only in true, strong, healthy relationship that exists as the best support in one’s life.

There are few disclaimers that I want to mention before I start elaborating on my views:

I don’t want to include trust, respect, and love on my list. Without these basics, a relationship is not even getting to first base.

Getting involved is another term which makes me cynical. When we are speaking of great relationships, is not involvement a counter face of the coin.

Appreciation is another mocking trait to say explicitly that it’s required – The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. It also means to grow or appreciate in value. As you appreciate life, you become more valuable—both to yourself and others.

Before I go any further, please do not misconstrue the title and this writing. I am by no means a relationship expert. What I am though is a person with a select number of TRUE friends and close family whose relationships I greatly value

With that, let me share few aspects which I genuinely feel is required in making great relationships.

 Speak, talk, laugh, smile, and listen

This is probably the most over-used and least understood concept in the world.- “Communication”. Simply, communicating is the activity of conveying information. But in the context of creating a fabulous relationship, it is much more than that. It is the means by which feelings and emotions are transmitted and processed.

 Naturally, words are the building blocks of good communication. But much of how we feel and what we need is conveyed through body language, mood, and expression. When a relationship is in trouble, the parties often complain that they cannot be expected to “read minds.” For me communication in relationship means what to say when and how to say it — and also, when to say absolutely nothing at all.

Conquering Conflicts

The mere occurrence of an argument, small clashes is generally not the problem, unless they are occurring frequently. Rather, the problem is how we go about and covenant the disagreement. Contempt and criticism are downright relationship killers. The more you drag & brag, the more it worsens.  The key is though not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and the resolution of the conflict should be without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right. 

 Condensed Expectations & Fostering interests

No relationships actually exist with zero expectations. But keeping expectations at lower level is practically possible. Expectations beyond a limit leads to possessiveness. If not controlled, insecurity takes its birth resulting in over protectiveness and might act as a threat to seclusion. Building networkoutside interests not only strengthens your social structuring, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too. Genuine interest in other person’s pursuits breeds to admiration and adorence.

Deciphering men and decoding women
We are all human beings but true aspect is also that we are not “just” men and women. However, the differences in how we relate, process, perceive, organize, decide, think, feel, reveal, communicate and experience life, based on our gender, are vast indeed. This plays a major role in understanding each other.

Comprehending the thinking process of men and realizing how women respond and perceive are very thoughtful and appealing co

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  4. The meeting of the minds!
  5. How to be loved for who you are