When I sought to help married couples, it was because of my experience with the family law court system. I saw for myself how destructive it is for families and our society. It is like a predatory virus. As soon as you’re exposed to it, the door is open for tremendous suffering. It has been perpetuating itself through an unholy alliance with marriage counselors and clinical psychologists.
Marriage counseling is regulated. In California and probably most states the license is only available to those who are certified by state boards. In order to pass you must be trained in western psychology; no other modality is accepted. Unfortunately, their record of resuscitating troubled marriages is pathetic (under 6% success rate, I have heard).
Others who are legally allowed to help are lawyers and religious leaders. When I began my practice of helping marriages with an approach I invented, I was told by my lawyers I could go to jail.
I needed to test my science and snuck under the radar by remaining a mediator. My own success rate was nearly 100%.
So allow me to “mediate” you…
Every marriage counselor has a list of divorce lawyers and mediators they will refer you to after they have “done all they could” for you. When you get to divorce court, clinical psychologists who were trained in the same schools as the counselors who failed you, will now decide what is best for your kids.
One parent will likely be condemned and the other will be seen as a victim. Your children will get it. One of you, one of the two foundational pillars of their existence, will be seen as flawed and not good enough. Or, in a “better” scenario, their parents will be at odds for years to come.
Marriage counseling works less then a broken clock. Its focus is on the negatives in your marriage when you need to shift your focus to the positives and stay there. Now that I have written what I think is a manual for marriage, I rarely work with couples. It is far simpler to be happy in marriage then anyone thinks possible. Reading the lessons is usually all anyone needs. Some folks don’t even need the lessons. They just need to remember they married the best person on Earth.