Saving your marriage – 4 things that you could be doing wrong

Posted in Marriage.

If this article has caught your eye, then perhaps you’re in the midst of saving your marriage. Who knows? You might also have tried doing many things to save your marriage but they didn’t work for you.

The truth is, it takes more than just doing the right things to make your marriage work. It’s also avoiding the bad so that your spouse does not drift away from you. Below are 4 things you could be doing wrong to save your marriage. See if you’re guilty of any of them.

 

Using Guilt on Your Spouse

The first step to saving your marriage is to stop using guilt on your spouse. Though it’s commonly used, it never works because using guilt is emotional blackmail.

A good example is threatening to commit suicide if you two divorce and saying to your spouse that he/she will regret it for the rest of his/her life. Or what about saying that the kids will grow up dysfunctional because their father/mother walked out on them? Either way, using guilt encourages divorce because you seem like a lunatic who’s problematic to live with.

 

Pressurizing Your Spouse

The most common form of pressurizing your spouse is by begging him/her not to leave you. So if you’re already thinking about going down on your knees and wailing to beg your spouse, don’t. Begging is also emotional blackmail and doesn’t help you in saving your marriage.

Another form of pressure would be forcing your spouse to go for marriage counselling with you. Though counselling is important, you can always use logical reasoning like saying “Darling, we’ve invested our entire lives in each other. Isn’t our sacrifice for one another worth a few hours of counselling to save our marriage?” That will definitely be more effective when compared to emotional blackmailing.  

 

Saying Sorry to Your Spouse All The Time

Yes, and I do mean all the time, even when it’s not your fault.

Don’t get me wrong here. Apologizing for mistakes you made is alright, but the problem I’m addressing here is when you start apologizing for things you didn’t even do.

That makes you look really desperate, which is not attractive. Most of all, it doesn’t help you in saving your marriage.

Instead, accept your responsibility for 50% of your marriage problems and acknowledge that you have some issues you need to work out together with your spouse. A marriage takes two hands to clap, so don’t take more than your fair share of the blame.

 

Waiting and Hoping That Things Will Turn Out Well

This is probably the biggest mistake you can make to salvage your marriage. Fortunately, it’s also the easiest to solve.

It’s human nature to just “wait and see”, and hope things will turn out well. But that never works and don’t think for one second it’ll help in saving your marriage.

Marital problems don’t solve on their own, so saving your marriage needs taking concrete action right now and applying what you learnt in this article.

 

Remember, saving your marriage takes more than just doing the right things. It’s also not doing the wrong things. Start by not using guilt and pressurizing your spouse, and don’t keep apologizing in the hopes of getting your spouse closer to you. Finally, take massive action. These tips alone will go a long way in saving your marriage.

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