People everywhere were shocked when Maria Shriver announced her separation from former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in recent months. They were even more shocked when the reason for that separation was revealed in the following days. It wasn’t just the world of Hollywood that was rocked by the news. It was the political circles Governor Schwarzenegger and his former wife, by nature of her birth, traveled in as well.
There are a lot of opinions on both sides of the issue. Women, men, and church groups everywhere are angered by the fact that the affair happened. Some people register shock over the entire event and others see it as a problem that seems to be systematic in the world around us. Rich and powerful men are human. They make mistakes. The difference is that the mistakes they make are often scrutinized in the forum of public opinion whereas the rest of the world is able to make mistakes, get up, dust off, and move on to some degree without too many people being the wiser for it.
I’m not going to make apologies for what he did or excuses. What happened, happened years ago. In his mind it was over and done with. Telling his wife was probably the hardest thing he’d ever done. We all watched the fallout from the secret, the lie, and the cover up. But, what people really want to know is what could have been done differently in order to save some of the fallout that’s played out in the media over the past few months?
Empathy Works Wonders
He could have taken a little time to ask himself how his wife would have viewed things. You don’t live with someone as long as they’ve been married without knowing a little bit about how the other person thinks. He knows how to push her buttons by now and how to tread softly.
The problem is that men and women have different approaches at times like this. Kinder and gentler might be the way she would prefer to hear it but “just the facts ma’am” is the way he’d prefer to hear it. So, guess what happens? He gives just the facts while she needs the kinder gentler approach. Then it’s all downhill from there.
If you’re ever in this position you MIGHT be able to avoid the Terminator’s heartbreak by using a more subtle approach when the time comes for the truth to come out. Another thing you might want to consider is telling the truth when it happens rather than covering it up and hiding it for years after the fact. That’s the hardest part for most women to forgive. It is NOT the infidelity but the lies that were told to hide it.