Stop your breakups: 9 questions you should ask before and after you marry

Posted in Friendship.

There’s this funny but worthy saying about marriage – “It is so much like a lottery, but you can’t tear up your ticket if you lose.” What this means is that getting married is a decision that cannot be made in a blink of an eye. Once a person decides to take it to the altar, there is no turning back. Whether it succeeds or fails, there’s the responsibility of doing everything you can in order to preserve it. But what if all remedies has been made and there’s no hope anymore?

This is why it is very crucial to think and rethink before you make one of the most pivotal decisions in your life. You have to ask yourself questions on why you should commit yourself into it, before it happens and after it. The reason for this is to ensure that everything you’ve worked so hard for will not end up in breakup, separation, or divorce.

There may be thousands of questions out there that you need to ask on yourself, and here are nine of the most common queries you should be thinking of before and after you marry.

Am I ready for the responsibility?

Wearing the ring entails a huge responsibility. It’s not like you’re playing games with your wife. Marriage is a sacred vow that needs commitment. Commitment is all about being mature enough to face problems, issues, and demands of a new family. So you should ask yourself, “am I ready to take on this challenge?”

Are there any regrets?

Ask yourself this question right after the marriage has been consummated. Do you love the new life? Are you willing to give up that past life with all the freedom you had? If your answer is yes, then there are regrets thus far. But wait until five or more years and then ask yourself the same questions. Let’s see…

What is my financial goal?

Marriage is coupled with the responsibility of earning enough income for the family in the future. Obviously, couples would want to raise children in no time. But before doing so, you have to deal with questions like should the both of you work? Are you going to put up a store or business? What kind of property agreement are you going to take? These things are a must if you want to survive the marriage.

How should we settle?

Another important question you need to ask yourself right after you get married is the way you want to settle as a married couple. For instance, are you going to immediately buy a house or stay in an apartment for awhile? Are you going to leave your job and find another one that pays more? Should you buy a car or leave that as a goal in the next two to three years? We don’t have to go into details as there are perhaps hundreds of questions to ask when it comes to settling down.

How far should I go when it comes to my personal ambition?

When you are married, there are a lot of sacrifices you need to make. One of them is your personal ambitions and goals. Being single corresponds to a lot of dreams and aspirations, but when you have an additional responsibility like marriage, there’s a chance that you might give them up. So ask yourself, should I continue with my career in painting and music or should l look for a more secure income-earning and stable job? If I decide to put ambition before money and income, will my partner agree to this?

Am I prepared to be loyal and trustworthy?

One vital requirement of any relationship is loyalty to your partner. This means that as you begin to play the role of a married individual, you have to stop flirting with other people, going drunk, party and go crazy with friends, or thinking of leaving your partner for someone else. These things are for people with no commitments. When you’re married, you have to put a mindset and emotional pact that there is no one else to love in this world than your wife/husband.

Should I be sharing my secrets?

The thing is, you must have already told your partner all your secrets before the marriage. But if you haven’t, make sure you do.

Am I willing enough to sacrifice everything for the marriage?

This question needs to be answered in order to find out for yourself if you’re really ready to take your life to the next level. If you have to sell your car or house to pay the bills, are you willing to do it? If your pregnant wife wants you to go home early, are you enthusiastic enough to prepare dinner for her? If your kids want you to take them to the park, should you allot some of your busy time for them? Marriage means attaching yourself to tons of responsibilities so you better think it over very carefully.

Lastly, ask yourself, am I happy with this setup?

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