The common problems in marriage very rarely become apparent at the beginning of the relationship. Usually, it is when you start getting used to being around each other that these issues present themselves.
If you have ever been on holiday with a group of friends, what usually happens is that the first few days, you get on with them really well. After this period, living together gradually gets more and more irritating. This is when the bickering starts.
Marriage can be the same way – after you’ve past the early phase in your relationship, how you interact and live with each other will change quite dramatically. You will start to recognise that things between you and your partner won’t always be as they were during the honeymoon period.
Don’t get disheartened by this though as it is happens in all relationships. It is the differences in personality and approach to life which can create tension between two people.
Let’s establish practical ways of dealing with these common marital issues that so many couples come up against.
One difficulty is the chores and practical tasks which have to be taken care of. Having to do these things usually means that we neglect each other. Over time, the lack of closeness and time spent together can take its toll.
It is easy when there are lots of activities going on in both of your lives to let you marriage take a backseat. Too much neglect like this though can have harmful repercussions on your relationship in the long run.
It is when you are in this position that incidents between the two of you (which you would normally quite comfortably deal with) start to put a real strain on the marriage. The lack of communication and bonding can lead to partners turning away from each other.
It is therefore really important to be resourceful with your time and ensure that there some just for the two of you.
Even if it is just a little bit each day as over time, this will strengthen what have and how you communicate with each other.
Not sharing how you feel is also something which can cause difficulties between the two of you later on. It usually far more productive to let your spouse know what you’re thinking as opposed to keeping it to yourself to avoid any conflict.
Needless to say, this should be done in a way which doesn’t come across as accusatory and argumentative. Choosing times when you are both feeling calm and rational will help avoid those types of scenarios.
Although it may seem easier said than done, it is important to think about you are going to say before saying it; don’t simply just mention whatever comes into your head. Ask yourself how what you are discussing will benefit you and your relationship.
If you both work together as a couple in developing your marriage, experiences like these can actually help you to learn and become more aware in your marriage.
In general, we will always have to come up against difficulties and challenges. It is how you approach and deal with them which help you to grow in to a more loving and compassionate couple.