Now for respect reasons for you, the reader, I will not be copying the email here for everyone to see. It is not pretty so I will try to make the point as clear as I can.
Last year I was starting to have many problems with my daughter, who was then 16. She was rebelling and not following pretty serious rules and this carried on all spring and into the winter so I had to follow what I thought best as a parent, as we all do. Now, I was also planning for my own wedding that I was putting on myself in my backyard in October. My daughter was to be my maid of honor which meant she should help, right?
That was fine at the time. I just wanted for us to be okay and her to follow my rules and we were really trying hard to work it out with compromise. Each new thing worked for a small time period and then, boom, back at square one. So stressful at the time. I was losing weight but not in the healthy way.
I was always asking for and receiving advice all the time and some did help. One huge role in my daughter’s life is my mother who has been a big influence since she was born, since I was only 18 when I had her.
The wedding came and went. It was absolutely perfect. Then shortly after my daughter was continuing on breaking the rules as usual. No honeymoon as you can imagine. In November my daughter had been living other places but also breaking rules and doing just what she wanted when she wanted so we had to keep taking it to the next level.
I ended up kicking her out in December. She had a full time social worker who had been absolutely wonderful for both of us throughout this. She then started her adventures of teen shelters. She bounced through 3 total because, yes, she didn’t follow rules.
My mother, apparently had some feelings she was not sharing with me at the time and let them build up until December 23rd after midnight, probably after a few cocktails. I, of course got the email on Christmas Eve when I had to spend the day alone. Not pretty for most of the day.
It basically stated my whole name, my maiden name, and yelling at me how disappointed she was in me and slamming me for every mistake I ever made as a young mother and what a horrible person I was and she did not care to speak to me again. That sums it up. I was mortified.
I responded to the tune of, I hope you find yourself someday and isn’t it funny how the school and social workers all support me. My husband responded in a very different manner, which also cannot be repeated.
I still have not heard an apology or have I talked to her since. I think maybe someday she will sincerely apologize but knowing her, I just don’t know.
The moral to the story is that is changed my life by opening my eyes to the fact that you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with and that does include your family. I went on to educate myself through an online marketing community that is just full of the most amazingly supportive people I have ever known. The world really is a big place and in the past year I have learned to stop letting others drag me down with them.
I will leave it at that for now because I will being writing more on all the moments and relationships that have changed my life in the last year.
To be continued…