Why dinner and a movie screams "loser!"

Posted in Dating.

One very basic mistake that men make when asking women out on dates is failing to plan in advance exactly what you’ll be doing once you’re actually out together.

Has this ever happend to you? You worry yourself sick over how to ask out this girl that you like, trying to find the perfect moment in your conversation so it doesn’t seem awkward or abrupt…

And then, when you finally screw up your courage you find yourself mumbling about catching dinner and a movie this Saturday.

BZZZZZZZZZT!!!!

Fail!

Oh, sure, she may say yes anyway, but you’ve already put yourself in a hole. Good luck building attraction and sexual tension in a movie theater–where the entire experience is about putting your attention somewhere other than on each other.

And let’s not forget the no-talking thing. Great. A two hour hole in your first night out together where you don’t say a word to each other.

But it’s actually much worse than that. Doing the standard boring ‘ol cliche dinner and movie bit signals two things about you, neither of which are good.

It signals that you are a) boring and uncreative and b) thoughtless. You’ve just failed two important attraction tests here.

First, short term attraction is about excitement. It’s about mystery, new experiences and the unknown. Does dinner and a movie communicate any of that to a woman? I don’t think so.

So now you’ve killed the fuel for the flame. Because dinner and movie definitely does NOT induce butterflies.

Longer term you’ve failed as well. One of the first thing women do when measuring their attraction to a man is project what kind of boyfriend and husband he might be.

And tops on the list of qualities they’re looking for is thoughtfulness. Not buy-you-flowers thoughtfulness, per se, but more of a general commitment to turning mundane things into special ones. And again, dinner and a movie do not communciate that.

When choosing where to go on your first date, you always want to pick something more memorable, exciting and/or quirky.

This doesn’t mean you have to spend a bunch of money or make a big production of it.

It doesn’t have to be “an event.”

What it does have to be is something you’ve put thought and planning into. And the more it matches her personality and interests, the better.

Wow her on that first date and you’ll have plenty of 2nd, 3rd and 4th dates to do that dinner and a movie. And by then, it’ll be just fine.

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