It happens every day. Good people, loving couples, and those you thought were made for one another get divorce. It’s heartbreaking – especially when it happens to you and the person who has been your best friend for most of your adult life.
Divorce happens. It really hurts when it does. It leaves you sad, confused, and wondering what happened and why.
When you’re suffering through the pain of your divorce you have a hard time focusing on the world around you. You tend to wrap yourself up in a cocoon of oblivion until it’s over. Then you’re left feeling like you’ve just been run over with a Mac truck.
Why is it that people who you know are good people can’t seem to work things out with their marriages?
Good People aren’t Perfect
This is important to realize. No one is perfect. Good people make mistakes. Good people have morning breath and bad hair days. Good people forget to say “thank you” and “please” on occasion. Some good people even do things that others would consider bad on occasion. Yes, it’s true. Some good people even cheat on their spouses.
Doing something bad doesn’t change the entire person. A good person can do bad things. A good person can also fail to do a few necessary good things too. For marriages to work, it doesn’t require that a person be good or bad. That really has little to do with how well the marriage works when you get down to it.
Good People Goof Up
Believe it or not, good people can make some of the biggest goof ups in the world. You can be a good person and still do something insensitive. You don’t have to be bad or mean to forget anniversaries, birthdays, or countless other little things that matter so much to the other person in your relationship.
Making a marriage work doesn’t require you to be a good person. It requires you to be attentive, affectionate (to some degree), and present (to a greater degree). It’s not about what men want or what women want even. It’s about giving each other what you need and learning to ask for it when you aren’t getting it.
Good People Sometimes Hold Grudges
Grudges are marriage killers. Even the best of people have a hard time forgiving some things and moving on. But, until couples are able to forgive the “sins of the past” and focus on the future, it doesn’t matter how good either or both parties are, the marriage is going to be troubled.
Now is the perfect time to learn to forgive yourself and your partner. When you do these things that aren’t exactly simple but do happen to be vital, you will have a stronger, happier, and healthier marriage than ever before.